Online Dating Chronicles | Jacob

Jacob is my favorite.  And I can give you many reasons why, but for now, I’ll just leave you with the top three:

He reminds me of my best guy friend.

He knows I am a huge brat, and still talks to me.

And finally, he lives across the Pacific Ocean, so he is a safe guy.

(Safe guy = no need to fear any relationship or commitment. Thank goodness.)

Contrary to popular belief, I am fairly talkative, outgoing, and I usually get along with people I meet, but it takes me a long while to feel totally comfortable and be my true self around them.  It is like I have to test the waters, find out if they understand my Harry Potter jokes, see if they are witty enough to get my lame sarcasm, and to slowly find out if my laugh will end up giving them a headache.

Real life example:  There is a guy I have known practically my whole life, but I can barely say two words around him.  The reason?  He is hard for me to read.  I can’t tell if he gets my sarcasm, if he thinks my laugh is annoying, or if I am too loud.  So instead of ever making it to the place where I feel comfortable around him, I am continuously stuck in an awkward situation.

Okay … Back to the reason for this post…

Jacob is one of the few people I have met that has broken past that superficial wall within minutes.  I feel like I’ve known him forever, like we are old pals that can talk for hours about nothing at all and still feel like we’ve had the most productive conversation.  And he even told me yesterday that, “Out of all the girls I’ve met so far online, you’re the best.” 

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I should get an award!

If Jake and I got along as well in real life like we do over texting, phone calls, ect., I would be head over heels.

Online Dating Chronicles | Jeffrey

I am hoping he is normal, because, I may have told him I would go on a date with him in two weeks time.  That’s far away, huh?  I need time to prepare, but mostly, I will be in Logan this weekend, so next weekend, there is a high probability we will go out.  I had planned to have my friends follow us, just in case he happens to be a complete psycho, but he wants to go on a hike, and that…

Oh man, it just hit me…  He wants to go on a HIKE.  Hikes are not safe first meeting places.

Never mind. We probably won’t go out in two weeks.

Online Dating Chronicles | The Creeped Out Becomes The Creeper

With this whole online dating thing, I haven’t actively gone looking for guys to talk to.  If they message me, I message back (sometimes).  If they view my profile, I look at their profile (most times).  And if they send me a “flirt” I delete it and forget it ever happened (all times).  But when this certain guy looked at my profile, I, for some reason, could not stop looking at his.  He isn’t my normal type.  And I know it wouldn’t work out.  But there was something about him… I still can’t figure out what it is.

Anyway, I decided after we both had looked at each other’s profiles about 5 times (I’m a creep, I know!  But it was over more than a week’s time!) I would write him a message.  Now, this was the first time I had sent someone a message first… And I was terrified.  But, like my sister said when I was being forced to sign up for this site, it was time for me to face my fears.  And I did it.  I wrote the message.  Clicked the send button.  And regretted it two seconds after. 

The next day, I got an email that said he had replied to my message.  I would not even log onto the site to see what it said – I was too scared.  I decided that online dating wasn’t for me and a life full of cats was in my future.

I thought I was making progress with my whole fear of dating & commitment on this site, but I guess I was wrong.  I need Dr. Phil!

Online Dating Chronicles | Creeped Out

And, to prove you should always be careful when online dating, I give you Exhibit A, Exhibit B, and Exhibit C:

Exhibit A – a message from a 41 year old man from California (19 years my senior = I could be his child.  Yuck.).

Subject: Hi!

How are you doing? This is R in Irvine, CA. Just had to say hello. I know from your profile that you are just having fun with this. That's totally cool. But, I must say that you are cute and I would totally be down for seeing you, casually. I would spoil you rotten! haha.

Message me,
R

I believe he just asked if he could be my sugar daddy.  Again, YUCK!

----------------------------------------------------------

Exhibit B – a message from a 22 year old boy from Utah (I am shallow enough to want to date/marry someone as smart/smarter than myself, is that bad?)

Subject: Haha yer profile is asum!

I'm nor jokeing exicushon whas perfect ! Made me laf so yer probably pretty funny person sm I right ? And I'm a tottel fool for off road racing I hade all sorts of stuff up ther but they for some reason took it down.

Please, if you are going to write me a message, at least use spell check.

-----------------------------------------------------------

And Exhibit C – one of my recent chats with a 30 year old man from Utah.

So are you on here just for a good time or a long-term commitment?

Well, I am not the kind of girl that goes around having flings, but I am not really looking for a major commitment either, so I don’t know where I fall into this scale.  What about you?

Lol I am just looking for a good time.

Typical man answer.  Have you found it?

Lol yes.

So… maybe we should hook up some time.

You know, I am not really a love ‘em and leave ‘em type of girl.  And considering that you have probably kissed a gross amount of girls, I don’t think I am up for it.

Lol I haven’t kissed that many.

How many girls have you kissed?

Girls aren’t just a number to me.

So what do you say?  We could have fun.

I highly doubt it.  I wish you the best, and have a great night.

FYI, if I were to hook up with someone, it wouldn’t be an immature, mediocre-looking, self-centered, 30 year old man named Britt.  Sorry, too harsh?

I know I talk about all the creeps online, but, really, there are some cool guys, I just keep those stories to myself.  Do you want to hear them?

Online Dating Chronicles | The Beginning

It has been just over a week since I started my online dating bet-losing experiment.  When I first started this strange journey, I intended to write little pieces every day, keeping you all up-to-date on my expedition – but I have been out of luck and out of state, so please forgive me. 

I signed up on the site last Saturday.  I expected it to be a funny little experiment that would give me hilarious stories to share with my friends and family, which, so far, it has.  But something else has happened, which is hard for me to talk about, but I am going to try.

This whole week I have been plagued with anxiety.  Nothing major, I assure you, but this little something that has constantly been in the back of my mind. 

After the first few hours of being on the website, I had been bombarded with over 20 messages, and it would not stop.  I had a hard time keeping track of all these random guys who were trying to start comical conversations with me.  Within a few days, my inbox doubled, tripled, and still continues to grow.

I was watching my inbox full of messages expand, and, at the same time, my fear of dating and relationship grow as well. 

In this past week, I think I have learned more about myself than I have been able to discover in over five years.  It turns out that throwing myself into the shark tank has proven to be quite the therapy session.

I’m sorry… I cannot go on talking about this, writing about it is harder than I thought it would be.  Let’s chat about the funny stories, yeah?

One of the first messages I received was from a forty-seven year old man (I am twenty-two).  This strange man wanted to let me know that I was a lovely young lady, and added that I probably already know that.

Thank you, man who is my mother’s age, I appreciate that reminder.

On my first IM chat session, this picture-less man (30 years old) said that he loves the way I live my life, and that we should probably go to a fireside or something together, then asked for my phone number. 

Whoa!  We have been chatting online for about 30 seconds, and you ask for my number?  I apologize for not being that easy.  Of course I said no thank you.  Not only did this guy keep pushing for my digits, but he became frustrated with me for holding out my number.  Hello, anger management!!  Let’s not chat again, eh?

And the last one I’ll leave you with…

Randomly, an IM chat popped up on my computer screen.  It was from a guy that looked like he had potential in not only being normal, but pretty cool.  So we chatted.  We joked.  I laughed.  Then he told me that the only reason he was online was to show his friend that there were still great girls out there.  Apparently, his friend had some hard luck with the ladies as of late. 

I told they guy that his friend could hang out with me and my friend whenever he’d like.  He asked if he was invited.  I said no.  And then after some discussion, I said he could come, but we would ignore him for the first hour – it seemed like a great compromise.  He finally told me to look up his friend, who had an account.  I did.  And surprise, surprise, the profile, while having different profile pictures, was almost verbatim.  ...Really?

So I called him out on it (one of the bonuses of being online – you can be rude and straightforward) and he said that they were like brothers, and had a lot of similarities.  I was over this weird story, so I said my computer was dying and had to go.  But, of course, before I logged off, he asked for my number, inquiring if he could text me sometime.  I told him to get my number he would have to go through a series of tests, which he was up for, and said he wanted to get started on the exams right away.  Little did he know he had already failed the first test – being creepy enough to ask for my phone number on the first chat. Or second.  Or third. Or fourth, for that matter.

Don’t let these creepy stories paint a bad picture of online dating.  It has not been all bad.  There are a few guys that seem great, and I will probably end up hanging out with them in the future. 

I’ll keep you posted!

30 day challenge

This morning, I sat at my computer with my mother and sister over my shoulder forcing me to complete a bet that I lost.

A few days ago, I had this conversation with my mom:

"Well, are you going to hangout with him?"
"No way.  What if we end up liking each other?  I cannot handle that."

I don't want a relationship.  I don't want marriage.  And I am not a fan of dating.

But my older sister thought it would be a good idea to make a bet with me where, if I lost, I would have to sign up on an online dating site and take it seriously for a month.

I lost.  But really... Who makes people carry out lost bets anymore?
At first, I tried to make it sound like I wanted to try online dating - I hate losing bets.  But I do not think I would ever try an online dating site on my own.  I guess I am fairly closed minded.

So this morning, I did it.  I wrote stupid stuff about myself.  Threw on a lame picture.  And tried to get out of it by saying it was making me have anxiety issues.  No one listened.

The brightside of this?  You all can follow along while I write about my journey - let's call it Online Dating Chronicles, shall we? 

Until next time, wish me luck... I'll probably need it.

The New Girl

Well, hello there fellow....daters? bloggers? Um.. strangers?

I'm the new girl here on DTROGMO. 

Hmmm that's not an easy acronym. 

Anyways, I'm going to introduce myself.

I'm kind of a sucker for all things love. Chick flicks, proposals, weddings, cute puppies.... you name it, I love it.

I just love love!

(Skeptics can throw up now.)

( via vine2victory)

My friends have told me I'm a hopeless romantic, which I take as a compliment.

Because what's life without a little romance?

But alas, I have never been close to love I believe.

Why?

Well, I happen to come from a culture with this saying:

"Those lucky in cards, are unlucky in love."

And you know what my friends?

I play a mean Go Fish.

 If only I could just catch me something real.

Despite my actual love experience, I do have some funny/awkward/embarrassing stories.

I look forward to getting to share some of my crazy experiences, but for now, I will just leave you with thus said.

Because I like to think I'm mysterious. :)

-Hope

traffic jam romance

There I was, singing to Andy Grammer’s song, Keep Your Head Up, in  a late afternoon traffic jam, when I notice a man, who was partially hanging out of his window, start waving his arms in my direction from a car in front of me in the lane next to mine.

Confused?  I’ll draw you a diagram…

{Okay, I didn't actually draw it.  Just picture that I am in the car further back.  That he is hanging out of the car in front.  And that there is a traffic jam going on around us.}

I was confused and a bit embarrassed, thinking he was going to make fun of me for singing & grooving in my car. 

He continued waving and then motioned for me to roll up next to them.  I just laughed.  I didn’t want to talk to these late-twenties/early-thirties men that were smoking cigarettes & drinking some Red Bulls.

I decided the best option would be for me to call my good friend to see how to get out of this situation...  But she did not answer, so I freaked out in a voicemail, not knowing what to do, and then hung up my phone.

The man hanging out the window, held up his thumb to his ear and pinky finger to his mouth, pretending his hand was a phone, and mouthed the words, “Call me.” 

I started laughing harder.  I put my phone to my ear, and cupped the other ear while mouthing the words, “I cannot hear you!!”

He started holding up his fingers, signaling to me a series of digits that I assumed was his phone number.  

And there I sat, still laughing not punching his numbers into my phone.  

Then he motioned for me to write something down.  I held up a piece of paper and a pencil, and he, again, signaled to me a series of numbers that I pretended to write down.

Finally, we were moving along at a fairly good speed… And then we arrived at an intersection where I turned one way, and they turned the opposite way, waving goodbye.

Hopefully, that was the beginning and end of that little traffic romance.

Have you ever been hit on during a traffic jam?  Or wait, were you the one doing the picking up??

Tell me about them.  I want to hear 'em all.

Oh, and am I the only one that rocks out when alone in a car?

GIRL CRASHES AND BURNS BECAUSE SHE DID NOT CHECK HER BLIND SPOT

I know that the suspense has been killing you waiting for this post that was promised to you back in the beginning of September. But if we fulfilled all our promises right away you would probably never come back to our blog and check for these updates. This is just our way of making sure we keep our viewers!

What are blind spots you ask?!

Well it all started late on a Sunday evening as we decided to take a stroll around a lake! Great idea you would think, right? WRONG! We failed to take into account the fact that we had a LOT of water this year! Every path we tried to take turned out not to be so much as a path but a puddle of mud! Shoes were ruined, moods were...well not their best. But we still managed to have a good time. We did some planking (which we will soon master), jumped off benches for some great pictures (once we actually managed to get ONE of us all in the air), and hid behind trees. It turned out to be a great night.

As we were driving home the atmosphere changed and the conversation quickly became very serious! We started talking about life, and love and the lack thereof. We are cute, fun girls. Boys should like us! So it became our mission to figure out what was wrong with us and why we were failing at the game of love.

Now we can all say what's wrong with us and why we think our relationships fail. But only an outsider, and a really good friend will be completely honest with you and tell you what you can't see. Hence the term "blind spots."

We went around and told each other what we think their blind spots are. We came up with quite the list: keeping guys in the "friend" zone, never letting it move past that, flirt with ALL boys so the boys you do like have no idea cause you act no differently towards them, scared of commitment, avoid boys when they try to contact you, fall fast and fall hard, scared to let someone in to your life...you get the point right?

All these things we found out about ourselves have been preventing us from having the fairy tale every girl wants...well every normal girl. So ladies, to avoid future accidents be sure you check your blind spots before moving over!

kiss face

Hello, all!  We already know we are bad bloggers, you do not need to remind us.

Would a story help you get over the neglected feeling we have left you with?

Okay, I would be happy to oblige.

Saturday night, I went to this wonderful place called Keys on Main.  I would highly recommend it if you find yourself bored on a Saturday night in Salt Lake City.  The reason for going to this place, was a bachelorette party.  I did not know the girl, but she hugged me anyway. 

While enjoying the dueling pianos and the lovely requests from the audience, I noticed everyone in the small joint.

There were a lot of bachelorette parties taking place.  A lot of drinking going on.  A lot of people acting like fools.  And a lot of pictures being taken of their foolish and drunken actions.

How embarrassing, right? Right!

I do not drink.  And therefore, my foolish actions do not come from being intoxicated, but rather from the lack of sleep (mostly, anyway).  I do stupid stuff when I am tired.  I say stupid things.  And I come up with stupid ideas.

So, with all this in mind, is it any coincident that all of my first kisses have been in the wee hours of the morning?

I value kisses.  I do not think they should be wasted on just anyone. 

No, I believe that kisses should be special. 

And should be shared between two people that have mutual feelings of affection towards one another.

First Kiss Story 2.1:

I should have known that after watching Mama Mia with me, he would have tried something.  I mean, no man in their right mind would sit through that movie unless they had ulterior motives, right?

So, there we stood.  In a 2:00 a.m. embrace. 

It was cold – a freezing January night, and we were saying our goodbyes.

One thing lead to another, and we shared our first kiss. 

Well, more like first lip touch.

It was weird.  It was awkward. 

Our faces just smashed together.  It was not a real kiss. 

I had been real kissed before plenty of times, and this was not one of them.

A roommate at the time had a theory that when you kissed someone, it would not feel natural until the third time.

I did not believe it.  Until that very moment.

Well, you know, I am still not sure if I believe it.

The morning after this awkward kiss, I could not actually remember if we had kissed or not.

My roommate stumbled out of her room while I was eating some yogurt, and with messy hair, asked me if I had kissed him.

I told her the truth, “I think I did, but I am not totally sure…”

She thought I was an idiot.

This first kiss lead to a weird relationship.  An awkward relationship.

A relationship that, while it lasted on and off for quite a while, is such a blur to me now.

Maybe first kisses are indications of the future?

Okay, now it is your turn.  I want to hear about your first kiss experiences and what you think about first kisses being indications of the future...
Leave me a comment, gangsters.

At least he walked away with the box...

It was particularly warm February. 

I was living in St. George, Utah. I was "dating" Anthony.  

I use the term dating loosely here because I was going to break things off with him.

Anthony was on leave and decided that on his way back up to Salt Lake he wanted to stop by for a visit.  He said he wanted to take me on our first official date. 

So Friday night rolled around and I was sitting on my couch waiting for Anthony to get there. He was over 2 hours late. I kept getting texts from him all day about how he couldn't wait to get there, he had a surprise for me.  I was nervous out of my mind, I had dumped him before but never in person (I'm a flake). 

So finally he gets there, looking really good in a nice shirt and tie (he knows I'm a sucker for a guy in a good tie!) He says he wants to take a walk, a walk to his truck that is. 

We get in and we're sitting there making small talk. After about an hour of talking he puts on some music. 

I start to ask him questions about what he expects out of the relationship, he says he has every intention of marrying me and taking me to the temple "someday".  

So what do I do? I start letting him down. 

He gets all frustrated saying he didn't want this to happen until the next morning.  Uhh... What?! 

At this point he's acting like he's all upset. He changes the song. 

This is where things get weird. 

He turns on a certain song. The song I remember my sister hating, the song she made me hate. 

He gets weird and finally says "well do you want to see it?".

Let me back up here. For Christmas he gave me a gorgeous blue diamond necklace. When I got it he said it came with a shiny counter part....

So when he says those 7 words my stomach dropped. I knew exactly what "It" is. 

I ask if I have a choice.  He says no and reaches behind the seat. 

He pulls out a plastic sack (this kid's got tact!). 

He digs in the bag and finally pulls out the ugliest fake rose I've ever seen.

He says "You can have it on one condition, I keep the box." "Uhhhh ok?". 

And he gives me the rose box with the ring.

All the while Steven Tyler is screaming the lyrics to possibly one of the creepiest songs (he has it on repeat). 

He goes over some garbage of how he loves me and no matter where life takes us he'll always love me and 

yadda yadda yadda. 

He makes me put it on. It's disgusting. It's too big for my finger but he makes me keep it on while he's there.

I insist that he keep the ring, I didn't want anything to remind me of him.  He wouldn't take it back saying it was made for me. 

Finally I say goodnight and go inside. 

I find his phone in our kitchen. Big mistake bud! 

Me, being a typical girl, went through his text messages.

He had texts to another girl about how he's single again and looking so hook him up with someone hot when he gets back. 

Yeah, they were a week old. 

In the morning I say my final good bye. 

I think I made it clear I didn't want to see him again, 

I hope his face still stings. 

And that's my almost engagement story.

p.s. Is anyone looking to buy an ugly diamond ring and necklace?!

my idea of flirting...

is playing words like “date” and “lover” in a game of Words With Friends.

Last post, you were introduced the term LC also known as Love Connection.

Allow me to catch you up on our lingo:

Love Connection (“LC”): when one or more persons are caught in flirtatious interaction.  Involves, but is not limited to, batting of eyelashes, extended periods of eye contact, leaving concert choir at the same time to speak in the privacy of the hallway, DTRs, arranging Valentine’s Day telegrams, sending charming text messages, kissing in California, and/or making future plans.

Say you are walking down the hallway, any hallway will do, and a cute young man is heading your way down the same hallway.  You both make eye contact, smile, and BAM!  You just had yourself an LC.

Please, take this information and run with it.

Sometimes, you need to put it back where it came from...

It all happened in 7 days.

I met him at the midnight showing for The Dark Knight.

I thought he was different, fun, but different.

We flirted.

There was an LC (We'll let Jacqueline explain what that is).

My friends said he checked me out when my back was turned.

He asked to keep hanging out.

We planned a walk to the park.

We talked.

He said all the right things.

He tried to hold my hand.

I didn't let him.

We had a game night.

He was there.

He kept trying to turn the lights off so he could sit by me and hold my hand.

My friends were quicker than him.

The next day, he left for the Navy.

7 days.

2 months later I got a call.

It was him.

We talked every night for the next 3 months.

We watched movies over the phone.

He said he loved me.

I held my tongue.

He insisted I say it back.

I gave in.

He flew into town.

I drove to see him that night.

I know what you are thinking,

"All this and the girl still isn't married?!"

Just wait, I'm getting to the reason why...

I met him at his friends house (He wouldn't pick me up, red flag #1).

He came out to meet me.

We had a spectacular hug.

We went inside to watch a movie (Rated R, red flag #2) with his friend and his girlfriend.

They were on one of two couches.

We ended up laying on the floor (A girl deserves better than the floor, Red flag #3).

We held hands, cuddled.

And then he lifted the blanket over our heads (really stinky, red flag #4) and said

"I wanted this to be at a better moment but I can't wait any longer..."

and he kissed me.

Pause right there! My FIRST kiss. To this guy I barely knew, but knew all too well. His standards didn't meet the bar. I knew that from the beginning. He would call just to say the most inappropriate things (while I'm sure, he was under the influence). I knew what he was doing on the nights he didn't call. He was all wrong and I could feel it in the pit of my stomach. Literally. Ok let's resume...

He had just kissed me.

So many things going through my mind,

I can't remember a single thing,

except for the over whelming feeling of nausea.

He leaned in to kiss me again.

I put my hand up to stop him.

"I'm going to throw up."

I literally ran, yes RAN, to the bathroom,

and there proceed to put the kiss right back where it came from.

Somethings are just not worth it.

More on this guy, let's call him Anthony, later.

p.s. Yes, I really threw up after my very first kiss...

through the phone

A few years back, I was hanging out with a group of friends.  This young man hanging out with us stole my phone, gave me his, and walked into the other room.  I was completely confused about the situation when his phone, the one he left with me, buzzed with a text message.  From the phone’s home page, I could see it was a text from me.  I decided it was safe to open the message, and saw, “Let’s pretend like we are each other for tonight.  I’ll start.  Oh my gosh, I think you are the hottest boy alive!!” 

It was a good night.

I think I miss the days when stealing each other’s phones was a normal occurrence.

high five?

We were at a concert last night, all of us.  STAMPS, a band that I had never heard of, just finished playing, and the lead singer was walking past.  We made eye contact, he lifted his hand, I lifted mine, and the rest is history – the perfect high five.  No words were exchanged, no explanations given, only the unspoken expectations of what a high five should be.

Tommy & The High Pilots had finished playing, and talk about déjà vu, the lead singer was walking by.  He gave a high five to Concert buddy #One.  “Me too?” Concert buddy #Two added.  Being terrified to asked for one, I did not say anything.  He looked my direction.  I froze.  He went in for a hug, accidentally punching concert buddy #One in the face.  After the embrace, I blurted out,  “Can we get a picture with you?!”

Needless to say, I am now in love with the lead singers of STAMPS and Tommy & The High Pilots.

All last night’s talk of high fives made me think about a date I went on years ago.  We had a game night with a few individuals, and then, since it was early February, we went to the store to pick up some cheesy Valentine’s Day cards. It was a fun date.  Well, I thought it was fun.  We talked, we laughed, we drank Jamba, we acted like children.  Skip to the doorstep scene: We talked about how fun the night was, and then, naturally, we gave each other a high five.  A HIGH FIVE.

Reader, I know what you are thinking, “Wow!  If that was a good date, I would hate/love to know what happens on a bad one.” I can sum a bad date up in two words: NEAR TEARS (and not me, the young man).

Anyways, a few years after that date, I was driving with this young man, listing to Spice Girls, when he told me that I broke his heart all those years ago.  Burn.  Dagger to one of my many blindspots.

“What are blindspots?”  You are asking yourself?  I’ll let concert buddy #One clue you in.

P.S.  Facebook relationship equals terminated.  Is it bad that I am rejoicing?
P.S.S. Concert buddy #One, the one that got punched, is never washing her face again.  She is a groupie.

Caution: Dating this man may cause the following...

Giddiness, falling in love, mad karaoke skills, random texting, staying up all night, the giggles, tickle fighting, howling at the moon, tree climbing, the ability to run really fast, break dancing, feats of skill, magic tricks, practical joking, juggling, water balloon throwing, piano playing, calling your Mom, graffiti painting, burping, belching, poor table manners, playing hooky, playing hockey, giving hickeys, getting the hiccups, the ability to speak pig Latin, social networking, building birdhouses, random acts of whimsy, canoodling (of the late night sort), singing in the shower, pet grooming, video gaming, cheating at those same games, the desire to sky dive, yodeling, heckling, beat boxing, rapping, gift-giving, walking backwards, 80's movie watching, crazy hairdo styling, blogging, couch-surfing, cake-baking, bootie-shaking, roller-skating, class-taking, mind reading, haiku writing, crossword puzzling, skipping, jumping really high, line dancing, spitball shooting, euphoria, not taking things too seriously, an appreciation for British comedy, French films, Italian cursing, Chinese checkers, double Dutch rope skipping, tree fort building, nut cracking, tie-dying, star-gazing, tomfoolery, hi jinks, madcap antics, alternative reasoning, coloring outside the lines, raising the roof, being wild, rocking all night long, waking the neighbors, rhyming, going barefoot, swinging really high, food fighting, taxidermy, writing letters to the editor, silliness, goofiness, unruliness, happiness, speaking in funny accents, horseplay, monkey business, reckless skateboarding, bicycle stunts, antics, stage diving, squirt gun toting, skipping stones, skipping class, skipping trips to the dentist, defying authority, questioning everything, cartoon watching, home-movie making, skywriting, mountaineering, flag waving, doing the wave, doing the Macarana, messy eating, bubble-blowing, trick-or-treating, nap taking, bow tie wearing, mud wrestling, four-wheeling, doing donuts, flying by the seat of your pants, making it up as you go, excellent public speaking skills, sneaky sneaking, showing off, double-dipping, puppy love, bunk bed-sleeping, campfire building, hammock swinging, beach walking, pizza making, messing around, procrastination, exhilaration, navigation, inspiration, love letter writing, the desire to become a secret admirer, flower sending, partying, being nice to your enemies, bubble-bath taking, horror movie marathons, throwing caution to the wind, risk taking, underdog rooting, eating dessert before dinner, touch-football playing, time travel, picture booth photography, playing footsie, jitteryness, bouncing, hand holding, face making, weird hair coloring, mismatched socks, pumpkin carving, hooliganism, spunkyness, and having a better time than most other people.

Yeah... where do I find this man?

so this is the story all about how

I have a confession to make.

I may or may not be against relationships. I may or may not prefer to spend my Saturday nights throwing glowing golf balls off the side of a mountain rather than going on a date. And I may or may not have turned down every date/hang out invitation I have received in the past month.

So, while you will get romantic, fun, & witty dating/relationship stories from the other two ladies, my posts will be about the awkward adventures I have encountered, and still encounter to this day. Please keep in mind that I adore these awkward situations. I love random people. And if Mr. Collins was a real person, I would hang out with him just so I could laugh at his idiocy. 

I have vowed to be the first married out of the writers of this blog, so wish me luck – I am going to go find a young man to elope to Washington D.C. with. Consider yourself lucky, my awkward stories are about to increase.

Reader, I know you are judging me. Please stop.

it all started out as a joke

We were playing a sociable little tennis match with our friend, Jason, when we began throwing out the idea of starting a blog where we could write about our ridiculous relationships (or lack of relationships, in my case). We thought about the idea for days, weeks, months, and then finally, after watching the Bachelorette one summer night, and discussing with our other Jason friend what he thought was wrong with us when it came to dating/love, we decided we were obligated to start recording our experiences and sharing them with the masses.

For complete anonymity, we are changing our names to reflect characters that we best represent in a certain book.

I know what you are thinking, “Another dating blog?”

And the answer is, yes.