my idea of flirting...

is playing words like “date” and “lover” in a game of Words With Friends.

Last post, you were introduced the term LC also known as Love Connection.

Allow me to catch you up on our lingo:

Love Connection (“LC”): when one or more persons are caught in flirtatious interaction.  Involves, but is not limited to, batting of eyelashes, extended periods of eye contact, leaving concert choir at the same time to speak in the privacy of the hallway, DTRs, arranging Valentine’s Day telegrams, sending charming text messages, kissing in California, and/or making future plans.

Say you are walking down the hallway, any hallway will do, and a cute young man is heading your way down the same hallway.  You both make eye contact, smile, and BAM!  You just had yourself an LC.

Please, take this information and run with it.

Sometimes, you need to put it back where it came from...

It all happened in 7 days.

I met him at the midnight showing for The Dark Knight.

I thought he was different, fun, but different.

We flirted.

There was an LC (We'll let Jacqueline explain what that is).

My friends said he checked me out when my back was turned.

He asked to keep hanging out.

We planned a walk to the park.

We talked.

He said all the right things.

He tried to hold my hand.

I didn't let him.

We had a game night.

He was there.

He kept trying to turn the lights off so he could sit by me and hold my hand.

My friends were quicker than him.

The next day, he left for the Navy.

7 days.

2 months later I got a call.

It was him.

We talked every night for the next 3 months.

We watched movies over the phone.

He said he loved me.

I held my tongue.

He insisted I say it back.

I gave in.

He flew into town.

I drove to see him that night.

I know what you are thinking,

"All this and the girl still isn't married?!"

Just wait, I'm getting to the reason why...

I met him at his friends house (He wouldn't pick me up, red flag #1).

He came out to meet me.

We had a spectacular hug.

We went inside to watch a movie (Rated R, red flag #2) with his friend and his girlfriend.

They were on one of two couches.

We ended up laying on the floor (A girl deserves better than the floor, Red flag #3).

We held hands, cuddled.

And then he lifted the blanket over our heads (really stinky, red flag #4) and said

"I wanted this to be at a better moment but I can't wait any longer..."

and he kissed me.

Pause right there! My FIRST kiss. To this guy I barely knew, but knew all too well. His standards didn't meet the bar. I knew that from the beginning. He would call just to say the most inappropriate things (while I'm sure, he was under the influence). I knew what he was doing on the nights he didn't call. He was all wrong and I could feel it in the pit of my stomach. Literally. Ok let's resume...

He had just kissed me.

So many things going through my mind,

I can't remember a single thing,

except for the over whelming feeling of nausea.

He leaned in to kiss me again.

I put my hand up to stop him.

"I'm going to throw up."

I literally ran, yes RAN, to the bathroom,

and there proceed to put the kiss right back where it came from.

Somethings are just not worth it.

More on this guy, let's call him Anthony, later.

p.s. Yes, I really threw up after my very first kiss...

through the phone

A few years back, I was hanging out with a group of friends.  This young man hanging out with us stole my phone, gave me his, and walked into the other room.  I was completely confused about the situation when his phone, the one he left with me, buzzed with a text message.  From the phone’s home page, I could see it was a text from me.  I decided it was safe to open the message, and saw, “Let’s pretend like we are each other for tonight.  I’ll start.  Oh my gosh, I think you are the hottest boy alive!!” 

It was a good night.

I think I miss the days when stealing each other’s phones was a normal occurrence.

high five?

We were at a concert last night, all of us.  STAMPS, a band that I had never heard of, just finished playing, and the lead singer was walking past.  We made eye contact, he lifted his hand, I lifted mine, and the rest is history – the perfect high five.  No words were exchanged, no explanations given, only the unspoken expectations of what a high five should be.

Tommy & The High Pilots had finished playing, and talk about déjà vu, the lead singer was walking by.  He gave a high five to Concert buddy #One.  “Me too?” Concert buddy #Two added.  Being terrified to asked for one, I did not say anything.  He looked my direction.  I froze.  He went in for a hug, accidentally punching concert buddy #One in the face.  After the embrace, I blurted out,  “Can we get a picture with you?!”

Needless to say, I am now in love with the lead singers of STAMPS and Tommy & The High Pilots.

All last night’s talk of high fives made me think about a date I went on years ago.  We had a game night with a few individuals, and then, since it was early February, we went to the store to pick up some cheesy Valentine’s Day cards. It was a fun date.  Well, I thought it was fun.  We talked, we laughed, we drank Jamba, we acted like children.  Skip to the doorstep scene: We talked about how fun the night was, and then, naturally, we gave each other a high five.  A HIGH FIVE.

Reader, I know what you are thinking, “Wow!  If that was a good date, I would hate/love to know what happens on a bad one.” I can sum a bad date up in two words: NEAR TEARS (and not me, the young man).

Anyways, a few years after that date, I was driving with this young man, listing to Spice Girls, when he told me that I broke his heart all those years ago.  Burn.  Dagger to one of my many blindspots.

“What are blindspots?”  You are asking yourself?  I’ll let concert buddy #One clue you in.

P.S.  Facebook relationship equals terminated.  Is it bad that I am rejoicing?
P.S.S. Concert buddy #One, the one that got punched, is never washing her face again.  She is a groupie.